7.23.2005

faith & trust

i'm finding it difficult.
what to do when i have great faith, but little trust?
i guess my answer is to just do.
the trust comes and goes, it's just based on my own shallow notions
while the faith is based on my expectations.
i expect that god will be as he has always been,
     as the ages have seen him to be
     as is the testimony of the wise
          that he will love the same
 
right now my trust is so small
i find my faith looking over at him
     what's the matter with you?
     grow up!
          shifting sand
he hasn't changed,
     you neither would
          nor could
     scare him away
 
so what's your problem, man?
 
 
leave me alone.
everything seems like a mountain around me.
     and knowing that it should be like sand beneath me
          doesn't help
 
anyway, don't be a jerk.
we're different stuff.
     fact
     feeling
you believe.
i'm shown.
     i don't get your luxury.
knock it off already.
 
luxury.
maybe so, but i am your older brother.
i don't stop just because you want me to.
remember.
 
luxury?
i know you have to be shown.
let me show you.
     remember?
 
luxury!
you face victory.
you face trial.
you're strong.
you're weak.
     he is beyond.
          remember!
 

3.14.2005

HHO

I've been thinking a lot today about love.


It's in the very essence of water to be wet. It does not give a general sensation of moistness. It does not trick you into thinking with its frame of mind. It is what it is. Wet.

Wet and unashamed. No excuses, no need for theory. It is what it is, and anybody can tell you. Touch it and you'll see. Wet.

How silly to debate it. How dumb to deny it. Water is exactly how it has always been. Wet.

The thing about water is that you always know who has been in contact with it. Wet.

If I'm wearing rubber gloves, a poncho and goulashes...I can poke at the water but never come in contact. I can say that I've touched it, I can think I am an expert. Simply, I am not. Wet.

It may take some time to soak up, for me to be saturated. It will happen as I keep in contact with more and more. Wet.



So it's really not that hard, we don't need to talk about it. If you say you have known water, let me ask you: Are you wet?

3.13.2005

easy button

I want to show you something beautiful.

I want to see with the depth and clarity of the hubble, but speak with the awe of a child.

I want to find, to be found.

I want the buried treasure, but don't have a map or shovel. Or dirt.

I want silence from the endless stupid images that keep flooding into my mind, filling every crack that could have held intelligent thought.

I want to be fearless. Effortless. Dangerous.

A liability to the pandemic asphyxiation.

A river of lava. Get out of my way or be consumed.

Thrown like an arrow. Never my own inertia...still strong enough to shatter steel.


I want to look down and love what I see.

I want my cheeks to hurt from smiling too long.

I want action without denying or fearing the cost. I am bold because it doesn't matter.

No amount can buy me. No other can beat me. No force can stop me.